Rogue One: A Star Plot Hole

Scene: Princess Leia’s starship, Tantive IV.

Vader: Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by rebel spies. I want to know what happened to the plans they sent you.


Leia:  I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m a member of the Imperial Senate, on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan.


Vader: Bitch I JUST saw you at that huge battle. Like, twenty minutes ago. We were both just there. I saw you with my robot eyes. Am I the only one who remembers that huge, epic battle that we literally just left behind? Didn’t anyone notice? I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS.





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America, the Gradual

America is unimaginably more liberal today than it was in 1950. The America of 1950 was crazily, wildly liberal compared to the America of 1880. And 1880’s America was an orgy of liberalism compared to the America of 1776. The thing to remember is that liberals are winning and liberalism continues to win. It’s hard to see it because the progress has always been eleven steps forward, ten steps back. But when you integrate all the blood, sweat, tears, painted signs, conversations, arguments, activism, and votes over the interval of two hundred forty years, you see that the area under the curve represents a long slow crack of thunder that you can’t hear unless you stand far enough away in space and time.

All you need to do is take the next eleven steps, and don’t let your life get sidetracked by anger and grief when you slip ten steps back, because a million small steps for an idea creates one giant leap for mankind.

Brought to you by a true intellectual.

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I have a “todo list” of sorts for music ideas, and normally they are quite descriptive and fleshed out, sometimes even with references to recorded files to capture the actual guitar riff. However, I found one entry today that has no comments, no references, and no explanation. It’s just a little checkbox next to the words “SPACE FART”. I don’t know. I’m interested, though.

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I’m weird? You’re weird.

Everything you consider normal would be considered weird a hundred years ago, and will be considered weird a hundred years from now. All of your habits, expectations, and rituals, are completely arbitrary, generated by the randomness of where you showed up on the timeline of galactic events. So if I seem weird, it’s just because I have some perspective on how random and irrelevant this society is. Everything you worry about and cherish, revere, and hold sacred, will be gone and mostly forgotten in a few centuries. Someday, the humans of Earth will give you no more thought than you give to a random citizen of ancient Greece. And they will chuckle at your clothes, your music, your sense of humor, and your literature. And I will be there, chuckling with them, because I will be a cyborg by that time.

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Queen of the Damned

“Queen of the Damned” is wealth porn. I think about half the book is descriptions of wealth and opulence. Combined with the moody drama and endless gothic romanticist self-reflective melancholy – this explains the popularity of the book. It is porn for self absorbed people. It’s about having endless amounts of money and time, and being unhappy; a beautiful and seductive brand of depression. I think I just like reading the writing, but I don’t actually resonate with the contents. It is a cold and glittering work, wrapped in velvet.

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And Starring Scarlett Johansson as Kunta Kinte

I was really excited to hear that they announced a big budget sequel to the amazing and incredibly moving cinematic triumph Roots, but I thought it was a little odd that they cast Scarlett Johansson as an elderly Kunta Kinte.

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What Lurks Beneath

Do you realize how many horrible things are just swimming around in the darkest parts of the ocean right now, looking for something to kill?

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