HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HUMAN.

A friend of mine is celebrating a birthday. I sent him this warm little note tonight.

==== BEGIN TRANSMISSION ====

Computer algorithms embedded in the servers of the Facebook corporation have informed me of the mathematical coincidence which lies at the tripartite intersection of the integer count of the Earth’s planetary rotation modulus the significant astro-geological constant of three hundred sixty-five, and the Terran solar day on which you were extracted from your gestational host by a team of medical professionals. Cultural norms indicate that expressing hope for your enjoyment of this occasion would reaffirm our acquaintanceship and create a brief activation of the neurons in your brain which are responsible for the pleasant sensations awarded to you by natural selection as a consequence of receiving positive social attention.

==== END TRANSMISSION ====

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