An Oldie, from the Magnus Von Black Archives

This is one of my favorite videos so far. I made it in a coldly calculated, silly, bald faced, nuclear-lamo bad taste attempt to RUTHLESSLY, RUTHLESSLY, RUTHLESSLY, and MERCILESSLY piggy back off the success of one of my favorite authors, Anne Rice​. She was palpably annoyed by it and told me to go away. Classic Anne. I’m so proud of the long, gratuitous guitar solo, the epic re-imagining of a great song by a really soft chick band from the 80’s called Bon Jovi, and the horrible video editing which sets a new standard to which the world should and won’t aspire.

I was horrified and supremely entertained when a previous co-worker pointed out that the whole video makes it look like I’m in love with Tom Cruise. If that is my legacy, then so be it! I am not in love with Tom Cruise, but I would gladly marry him if it would make people laugh and nod in epic satisfaction as a noodling, space-time shattering guitar solo violates their sense of what is acceptable in the world of music.

There will be many more videos to come. Who knows which public figures will ask me to stop? Who knows how many redditors will explain that they hope I die? How much milk will be snorted through how many noses, once my time on this world comes to an end and I have carved a glittery spandex path of sonic destruction across some forgotten plot of digital land on one of the pseudo-earths that is a Google/YouTube server?

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