Presidential Campaign Position – Oregon Federal Building Siege

As a Presidential Candidate, I have decided that I need to start laying out some more policy positions:

Regarding those armed insurgents holding the government hostage in Oregon: They will be honored as “true Americans” and treated the same way we treat all true Americans, also known as Native Americans. Their weapons will be confiscated, their culture destroyed, they will be forced to read only books that indoctrinate them with new ideas, they will be isolated onto shitty reservation land with no way to make a living, they will be given the right to open casinos, a sports team will be named “The Rednecks”, and they will be mocked or misrepresented in every movie or television show for the rest of time.

I’m Magnus Von Black, and I approve this message.

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